[ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]
Jake took his hand and brushed a few stray hairs
away from her face. What? That Nature Boy wasn t
able to get you over your fear?
I don t want to miss out on life, she burst out a lit-
tle too loudly. She d never had such mixed-up emo-
tions. Cordelia couldn t even tell if she was panicking or
if she was, well, more excited to be alive than she d ever
been before.
Remember what I said about risks? They re better
when they re calculated, he said, returning his gaze to
the sky. You ll know when you re ready.
Cordelia closed her eyes and felt the crisp breeze nip-
ping at her earlobes. Her heart suddenly calmed down
and her hands, which had been balled into fists, opened
up and relaxed. Her mind was devoid of anxiety, and all
she could feel was the warm California sun showering
her with affection.
You ll know when you re ready.&
* * *
Cordelia took her noontime recover from the near-death
170
Getting Lost with Boys
experience shower and scrubbed herself with Bliss
Lemon and Sage Soapy Sap. Then she dried herself off,
put on some fresh clothes (a pair of dark indigo Joe s
Jeans and a cute J. Crew paper-thin T-shirt), and made a
solemn vow to break up with Paul Morgan. At first, she
thought that cleaning herself off would help build her
confidence and convince her that she was doing the right
thing. But as she wandered through the cabins and
approached the spot where she and Paul were supposed
to meet, that theory went out the window. She was nerv-
ous as hell and wringing her hands so strongly that red-
dish welts were appearing on her skin.
You can do this, she kept saying to herself. You just need
to say it real quick: Paul, you and I just don t belong together.
The more she tried to rationalize, the more she felt
the urge to empty the contents of her stomach into
the nearest recycling bin. She held herself still for a
moment and thought about what was about to hap-
pen and why she was so terrified. Was it because she
was afraid of how Paul might react? Was she scared
that she might regret breaking up with him? Could be.
The only other boy she d ever dumped was David
Decker, Alexis Dunbar s ex-boyfriend Alexis was too
afraid to do it herself, so she asked Cordelia to drop
the bomb on him after their Science Olympiad com-
petition. He never made another solar-powered
scooter again.
171
Hailey Abbott
Then the suspicion that her fears were actually Jake-
related grabbed hold of her and wouldn t let go.
God, this is not about Jake, Cordelia reminded herself.
It s about Paul not being the right person for you.
Anyway, Jake was, and always would be, her sister s
ex-boyfriend. Not to mention obnoxious, rude, and so
not her type. Case closed.
As Cordelia approached the campsite where the folk-
singing jamboree had congregated the night before, she
spotted Paul. She took a deep breath and began to walk
toward him when she noticed that he wasn t alone. Maya
was there. She ducked behind a tree and tried to get a
better view, carefully trying not to disturb them. They
were both on their hands and knees, crawling around
trees and scouring through abandoned charcoal pits.
I found one, Maya yelped.
Cordelia caught a glimpse of something shiny in her
hand.
What is it? Paul asked.
A chewing gum wrapper, Maya proclaimed.
That s two points, he replied.
They re picking up litter together, she thought. As a game?
Yay! Maya looked so happy and animated, Cordelia
could barely recognize her. Hey, maybe we could incor-
porate this game in our tours. While people are admiring
the sights, they could be looking for all those tiny things
that the groundskeepers might have missed.
172
Getting Lost with Boys
That s brilliant! Paul exclaimed. We could make it
a contest. Whoever gathers the most points could get
something, like a free pass to the Wawona Hotel or
something like that.
Now Maya sounded doubtful. I don t know, Paul.
Maybe we shouldn t turn it into a competition for
prizes. Wouldn t that conflict with the notion that we
have an obligation to the Earth? That we shouldn t
expect to be paid to protect our planet?
That s a good point, Paul said. But on the other
hand, it may be years and years before people accept
that. The Earth will suffer in the meantime. So I think
the competition is justified.
Even from this distance, Cordelia thought she could
see how Maya s eyes were shining. Oh, Paul, you
always seem to know the right way.
Cordelia was mesmerized. Maya truly worshipped Paul
in a way that she could never duplicate. Here was a girl
who appreciated him and shared all his values and even
enjoyed crawling around in the dirt looking for garbage in
order to be with him. And suddenly she understood
Maya. All her crabbiness was actually jealousy.
She knew she should be feeling a stab of jealousy,
too that heartburnlike sensation that she d felt when
she heard Jake talk about giving Molly back rubs. She
was thinking about it now and it still made her squirm.
It was all there in black and white. Paul deserved a Maya,
173
Hailey Abbott
and Cordelia deserved& she couldn t bring herself to
follow where that train of thought led.
Maybe she was just doomed when it came to boys.
Maybe Molly had gotten all the boyfriend genes in the
family. Cordelia felt miserable all over again, but she
knew what she had to do.
She came out from behind the tree and started down
the slope. Maya noticed her first, and Cordelia saw all
the joy vanish from the girl s face.
What are you guys doing? she asked.
Paul got up and gave her a limp hug. She wasn t too
sure that he was happy to see her. We re just playing a
game.
Would you like to join us? Maya asked snidely.
Now that Cordelia really knew where Maya s crabby
attitude was coming from, she wasn t offended at all.
No, thanks. Actually, Paul, could we take a walk?
Sure, he said, and took her hand. There s a pretty
waterfall that way.
Great, she replied as they started off in an easterly
direction, leaving Maya behind to play a solo version of
the trash game. Will she be okay?
Yes, I m sure we won t be long, Paul said suspi-
ciously. That is, unless you think Jake might want to
join us?
Holy shit.
Cordelia was stunned. Paul was right he was one
174
Getting Lost with Boys
perceptive son of a bitch. Although he hadn t put it in
those terms exactly. Whatever. He seemed to know
what was on her mind, which meant there was no
reason to drag this out any longer. If only Cordelia
could get the words out. This was a time she really
wanted her Treo handy. She could have prepared for
this and had a bunch of backup breakup lines ready in
case she choked.
Oh well, I guess I m on my own.
Silently, they continued along a path, the huge
sequoias rising above them. She tried to recall the
conversation she d had with Jake in the Charger
about how Molly had wanted him to change. Jake
had tried, but finally he d realized he couldn t be
someone he wasn t, and despite the fact that he
adored Molly, he didn t want to be someone else if
that s what it took to make her happy. Molly needed
a person who wouldn t have to change. So did Paul,
and so did Cordelia.
He stopped her when they reached the waterfall and
looked directly into her eyes. Okay, you can tell me [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]
zanotowane.pl doc.pisz.pl pdf.pisz.pl freetocraft.keep.pl
Jake took his hand and brushed a few stray hairs
away from her face. What? That Nature Boy wasn t
able to get you over your fear?
I don t want to miss out on life, she burst out a lit-
tle too loudly. She d never had such mixed-up emo-
tions. Cordelia couldn t even tell if she was panicking or
if she was, well, more excited to be alive than she d ever
been before.
Remember what I said about risks? They re better
when they re calculated, he said, returning his gaze to
the sky. You ll know when you re ready.
Cordelia closed her eyes and felt the crisp breeze nip-
ping at her earlobes. Her heart suddenly calmed down
and her hands, which had been balled into fists, opened
up and relaxed. Her mind was devoid of anxiety, and all
she could feel was the warm California sun showering
her with affection.
You ll know when you re ready.&
* * *
Cordelia took her noontime recover from the near-death
170
Getting Lost with Boys
experience shower and scrubbed herself with Bliss
Lemon and Sage Soapy Sap. Then she dried herself off,
put on some fresh clothes (a pair of dark indigo Joe s
Jeans and a cute J. Crew paper-thin T-shirt), and made a
solemn vow to break up with Paul Morgan. At first, she
thought that cleaning herself off would help build her
confidence and convince her that she was doing the right
thing. But as she wandered through the cabins and
approached the spot where she and Paul were supposed
to meet, that theory went out the window. She was nerv-
ous as hell and wringing her hands so strongly that red-
dish welts were appearing on her skin.
You can do this, she kept saying to herself. You just need
to say it real quick: Paul, you and I just don t belong together.
The more she tried to rationalize, the more she felt
the urge to empty the contents of her stomach into
the nearest recycling bin. She held herself still for a
moment and thought about what was about to hap-
pen and why she was so terrified. Was it because she
was afraid of how Paul might react? Was she scared
that she might regret breaking up with him? Could be.
The only other boy she d ever dumped was David
Decker, Alexis Dunbar s ex-boyfriend Alexis was too
afraid to do it herself, so she asked Cordelia to drop
the bomb on him after their Science Olympiad com-
petition. He never made another solar-powered
scooter again.
171
Hailey Abbott
Then the suspicion that her fears were actually Jake-
related grabbed hold of her and wouldn t let go.
God, this is not about Jake, Cordelia reminded herself.
It s about Paul not being the right person for you.
Anyway, Jake was, and always would be, her sister s
ex-boyfriend. Not to mention obnoxious, rude, and so
not her type. Case closed.
As Cordelia approached the campsite where the folk-
singing jamboree had congregated the night before, she
spotted Paul. She took a deep breath and began to walk
toward him when she noticed that he wasn t alone. Maya
was there. She ducked behind a tree and tried to get a
better view, carefully trying not to disturb them. They
were both on their hands and knees, crawling around
trees and scouring through abandoned charcoal pits.
I found one, Maya yelped.
Cordelia caught a glimpse of something shiny in her
hand.
What is it? Paul asked.
A chewing gum wrapper, Maya proclaimed.
That s two points, he replied.
They re picking up litter together, she thought. As a game?
Yay! Maya looked so happy and animated, Cordelia
could barely recognize her. Hey, maybe we could incor-
porate this game in our tours. While people are admiring
the sights, they could be looking for all those tiny things
that the groundskeepers might have missed.
172
Getting Lost with Boys
That s brilliant! Paul exclaimed. We could make it
a contest. Whoever gathers the most points could get
something, like a free pass to the Wawona Hotel or
something like that.
Now Maya sounded doubtful. I don t know, Paul.
Maybe we shouldn t turn it into a competition for
prizes. Wouldn t that conflict with the notion that we
have an obligation to the Earth? That we shouldn t
expect to be paid to protect our planet?
That s a good point, Paul said. But on the other
hand, it may be years and years before people accept
that. The Earth will suffer in the meantime. So I think
the competition is justified.
Even from this distance, Cordelia thought she could
see how Maya s eyes were shining. Oh, Paul, you
always seem to know the right way.
Cordelia was mesmerized. Maya truly worshipped Paul
in a way that she could never duplicate. Here was a girl
who appreciated him and shared all his values and even
enjoyed crawling around in the dirt looking for garbage in
order to be with him. And suddenly she understood
Maya. All her crabbiness was actually jealousy.
She knew she should be feeling a stab of jealousy,
too that heartburnlike sensation that she d felt when
she heard Jake talk about giving Molly back rubs. She
was thinking about it now and it still made her squirm.
It was all there in black and white. Paul deserved a Maya,
173
Hailey Abbott
and Cordelia deserved& she couldn t bring herself to
follow where that train of thought led.
Maybe she was just doomed when it came to boys.
Maybe Molly had gotten all the boyfriend genes in the
family. Cordelia felt miserable all over again, but she
knew what she had to do.
She came out from behind the tree and started down
the slope. Maya noticed her first, and Cordelia saw all
the joy vanish from the girl s face.
What are you guys doing? she asked.
Paul got up and gave her a limp hug. She wasn t too
sure that he was happy to see her. We re just playing a
game.
Would you like to join us? Maya asked snidely.
Now that Cordelia really knew where Maya s crabby
attitude was coming from, she wasn t offended at all.
No, thanks. Actually, Paul, could we take a walk?
Sure, he said, and took her hand. There s a pretty
waterfall that way.
Great, she replied as they started off in an easterly
direction, leaving Maya behind to play a solo version of
the trash game. Will she be okay?
Yes, I m sure we won t be long, Paul said suspi-
ciously. That is, unless you think Jake might want to
join us?
Holy shit.
Cordelia was stunned. Paul was right he was one
174
Getting Lost with Boys
perceptive son of a bitch. Although he hadn t put it in
those terms exactly. Whatever. He seemed to know
what was on her mind, which meant there was no
reason to drag this out any longer. If only Cordelia
could get the words out. This was a time she really
wanted her Treo handy. She could have prepared for
this and had a bunch of backup breakup lines ready in
case she choked.
Oh well, I guess I m on my own.
Silently, they continued along a path, the huge
sequoias rising above them. She tried to recall the
conversation she d had with Jake in the Charger
about how Molly had wanted him to change. Jake
had tried, but finally he d realized he couldn t be
someone he wasn t, and despite the fact that he
adored Molly, he didn t want to be someone else if
that s what it took to make her happy. Molly needed
a person who wouldn t have to change. So did Paul,
and so did Cordelia.
He stopped her when they reached the waterfall and
looked directly into her eyes. Okay, you can tell me [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]