[ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]
outside his own body. He glanced up at Alex, and his face was a tight
mask of lines. And what if we re not open? he asked. I mean, what
124 Ellen Ginsberg
if we can t surrender ourselves like that? What happens then? Can we
even go across then?
Jacob recalled the night that he had tried to bring Ben across. Alex
had caught him in midair as he fell off the cliff, wrapping his arms
around him. That physical contact should have been enough to get
them both across the gate, but it didn t. Jacob knew well enough what
Alex was thinking now. Alex thought it was his fault they didn t make
it across. For years, he had believed in fate, in Morgana, in the
possibility of other planes, and in his parents stories. It was one thing
to believe, though. That carefully cultivated fairy tale had been fine
for Alex as long as he was in control of it.
To trust in another force to guide him, to surrender himself
completely to it, probably seemed more than scary to Jacob s mate.
It must have seemed damn near impossible.
Before Adrianna could answer his question, Jasper leaned back in
his chair and gave Alex the eye. You know, for someone who had as
much faith as you did in this stuff for the past ten years running, you
are really being a hell of a worrywart. Has anyone ever told you it
might be in your best interest to just chill out for like five seconds?
Just you, Alex replied stiffly.
He said, his voice laced with worry over whatever the hell he d
found to worry about&
Jacob didn t have to wonder. It was as much in his mate s nature
to be closed-off and in control as it was in Jacob s to surrender
himself to the whims of the universe.
And Jacob didn t know whether either one of them could change.
* * * *
So, Adrianna said, gesturing with her hand as far as the IV
sticking out of it would let her, tell me what you ve been doing with
yourself for the last ten years.
Jacob at the Break of Dawn 125
Alex could hardly stand to look at her. Even that flippant gesture
of her wrist, exacted so easily, so casually after a decade of lying limp
on the hospital bed, was overwhelming. The swarm of doctors and
nurses that were still regularly filtering in and out of the room had
taken his dad for tests just as he d arrived in the room, leaving him
alone with his mother.
He loved her, of course, just as much as Mitchell. It was just that
it was easier with his dad, especially during such a strange and surreal
moment. His dad was the easygoing one, the joker, but his mom, like
Jacob, had her moments of overwhelming emotionalism. The older
Alex had gotten, the more uncomfortable those moments had made
him, and the more he had avoided her.
Was still avoiding her, he corrected himself, staring at the wall
ahead of her, saying nothing.
You know, your brothers were a lot more talkative.
Alex sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. His brothers had hardly
expected this day to come. Alex had imagined this moment so many
times that a week ago, he could have recited the whole thing word for
word, every line of dialogue in their joyful reunion. A week ago,
though, it was just a fantasy. Now it was real.
It wasn t playing out like he expected.
Your brothers also had the good manners to at least introduce me
to their mates.
I introduced you and Dad to Jacob already.
So that s the last we ll see of him then? she asked. You think I
don t want to spend any more time with your mate? He doesn t like
us?
On the contrary, Alex had the distinct impression that his mother
adored Jacob, and he knew Jacob loved his parents, especially
Adrianna. Unfortunately, he was still shaken up after what he d
learned the last time they were in the hospital together. In the days
that had followed that first strange meeting, Alex had done his best to
126 Ellen Ginsberg
keep Jacob s mind off of it. It had been relatively easy. They had
spent most of those days in Alex s bedroom.
Of course, Alex thought, glancing back down at his mother, there
had been other reasons he d been avoiding the hospital, too, reasons
that made him less than eager to come back today. In light of those
reasons, he d determined it was almost certainly best not to bring his
mate along in case things got tense between him and Adrianna.
And they likely would, considering what he had to say.
Why didn t you tell us we could planeswalk?
Adrianna s eyebrows shot up in surprise, and she lay still for a [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]
zanotowane.pl doc.pisz.pl pdf.pisz.pl freetocraft.keep.pl
outside his own body. He glanced up at Alex, and his face was a tight
mask of lines. And what if we re not open? he asked. I mean, what
124 Ellen Ginsberg
if we can t surrender ourselves like that? What happens then? Can we
even go across then?
Jacob recalled the night that he had tried to bring Ben across. Alex
had caught him in midair as he fell off the cliff, wrapping his arms
around him. That physical contact should have been enough to get
them both across the gate, but it didn t. Jacob knew well enough what
Alex was thinking now. Alex thought it was his fault they didn t make
it across. For years, he had believed in fate, in Morgana, in the
possibility of other planes, and in his parents stories. It was one thing
to believe, though. That carefully cultivated fairy tale had been fine
for Alex as long as he was in control of it.
To trust in another force to guide him, to surrender himself
completely to it, probably seemed more than scary to Jacob s mate.
It must have seemed damn near impossible.
Before Adrianna could answer his question, Jasper leaned back in
his chair and gave Alex the eye. You know, for someone who had as
much faith as you did in this stuff for the past ten years running, you
are really being a hell of a worrywart. Has anyone ever told you it
might be in your best interest to just chill out for like five seconds?
Just you, Alex replied stiffly.
He said, his voice laced with worry over whatever the hell he d
found to worry about&
Jacob didn t have to wonder. It was as much in his mate s nature
to be closed-off and in control as it was in Jacob s to surrender
himself to the whims of the universe.
And Jacob didn t know whether either one of them could change.
* * * *
So, Adrianna said, gesturing with her hand as far as the IV
sticking out of it would let her, tell me what you ve been doing with
yourself for the last ten years.
Jacob at the Break of Dawn 125
Alex could hardly stand to look at her. Even that flippant gesture
of her wrist, exacted so easily, so casually after a decade of lying limp
on the hospital bed, was overwhelming. The swarm of doctors and
nurses that were still regularly filtering in and out of the room had
taken his dad for tests just as he d arrived in the room, leaving him
alone with his mother.
He loved her, of course, just as much as Mitchell. It was just that
it was easier with his dad, especially during such a strange and surreal
moment. His dad was the easygoing one, the joker, but his mom, like
Jacob, had her moments of overwhelming emotionalism. The older
Alex had gotten, the more uncomfortable those moments had made
him, and the more he had avoided her.
Was still avoiding her, he corrected himself, staring at the wall
ahead of her, saying nothing.
You know, your brothers were a lot more talkative.
Alex sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. His brothers had hardly
expected this day to come. Alex had imagined this moment so many
times that a week ago, he could have recited the whole thing word for
word, every line of dialogue in their joyful reunion. A week ago,
though, it was just a fantasy. Now it was real.
It wasn t playing out like he expected.
Your brothers also had the good manners to at least introduce me
to their mates.
I introduced you and Dad to Jacob already.
So that s the last we ll see of him then? she asked. You think I
don t want to spend any more time with your mate? He doesn t like
us?
On the contrary, Alex had the distinct impression that his mother
adored Jacob, and he knew Jacob loved his parents, especially
Adrianna. Unfortunately, he was still shaken up after what he d
learned the last time they were in the hospital together. In the days
that had followed that first strange meeting, Alex had done his best to
126 Ellen Ginsberg
keep Jacob s mind off of it. It had been relatively easy. They had
spent most of those days in Alex s bedroom.
Of course, Alex thought, glancing back down at his mother, there
had been other reasons he d been avoiding the hospital, too, reasons
that made him less than eager to come back today. In light of those
reasons, he d determined it was almost certainly best not to bring his
mate along in case things got tense between him and Adrianna.
And they likely would, considering what he had to say.
Why didn t you tell us we could planeswalk?
Adrianna s eyebrows shot up in surprise, and she lay still for a [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]